Hugo, the yarn-eating poodle, is going on vacation. There was a request for his requirements so I thought I’d find out what he wanted to say. He’s likely to be really excited and have some excite-a-piddle going on, too, even though he’s not a puppy anymore. He may not be able to say everything when he arrives at the house full of girls and one guy, so here it is, in his own way…
I love to play, I love girls, I am a good boy who will be an excellent guest. That is my goal. The girls, when they came into my house, (they came to my house! the joy!) I was so excited I did not know what to do with myself, what shoe to grab and show off, who to see first? Six new people in my house and 5 of them were girls! A whole week, that’s what I hear them saying, they are going away, I see a suitcase. A whole week of girls and Vince. I love Vince. He holds my paw. I love holding hands.
My life is all about play. My best friend is Kenny and Ilona is his mom. We play hard many mornings, running and fighting all around the park. It would be nice for me to see Kenny and do that, but really, it’s not essential. It really isn’t. That’s a thing about poodles; we love to run and play but we also are deeply contented to be at home and snuggle. Some mornings I can just go out to pee in the back yard, have my food, then go back to sleep. It’s hard for me to accept, but I am not in charge, the humans are. They have things to do that don’t involve me.
I wonder if I’ll see Vince much. This was his idea, my visit, but I’m pretty sure it will be Kim who takes care of me. She has so much to do. It will be lots of fun to follow her all around the house. I look like I’m asleep but I’m always alert. I am very good at not running downstairs on the heels of the humans. I may need reminding, and I do want to be a good dog, so tell me “Stay” at the top of the stairs and I will. Be sure to call me when you reach the bottom and I’ll come tearing down.
Whose bed will I sleep on? What are their couches like? I’ll bet there will be shoes and slippers, lots and lots of shoes and slippers!
I will get to see Portia/oops! Porsche? I like her; she likes me. We run. She doesn’t much like other dogs but she likes me. All other dogs like me. I am dominant but not aggressive. I like people, too. Except for Adam. I don’t like Adam. I don’t know why. All I want to do is growl and bark. I was a little happier with him when he gave me some of my favourite liver treats.
I suss out other dogs. I stand and look, stand and sense, check it out and see if it’s someone/some dogs I know. My eyes aren’t all that great but my nose knows and so do my ears. I don’t want to get to know some dogs. I love Blue. Jennifer and Bill belong to her. We three, Kenny, Blue and I play and play. Sometimes I get jealous when Kenny and Blue are ignoring me and I bark and bark at them. It really annoys the humans.
After walks, especially snowy or muddy walks, I need to have my paws cleaned. My mom stands with the towel; I sit. I put my right paw up. (my mom calls it “Your right paw” – Where is the wrong paw?) When that’s clean, I put up my my left paw. (she calls it “Your other paw.”) Then I turn around, (sometimes I need the encouragement of being told “Back Paws”) and I put up my left one first, then the other one. Usually I’m still a bit wet so I have to stay on the mat by the door. I know what “Down” means but sometimes I just don’t want to do it, but I must. I am a good dog.
Here’s what I eat –
- food – after being outside in the morning – 1 1/2 cups of the kibble and the same in the evening. I get a little snack – about 1/3 of the cup around noon.
- I’ll bet I’ll be eating lots of treats so maybe I should have just 1 cup morning and night.
- after the evening food, I always get a special treat of a pig ear piece. Really crunchy, but gone in a flash. I always ask for more. Sometimes I get one, not always. Sometimes I get a cookie, too.
- I hang around the kitchen (oh, that’s what I’ll see Vince!) at dinner time. I’ve perfected a mournful, needy look that used to get me a treat but it’s not so effective anymore. She’s on to me. It may work on new people though.
- I love meat, raw scraps of beef, chicken, pork – meat!
- I’ll sleep anywhere. I do like beds so maybe I’ll get to sleep on lots of girls’ beds.
One day I lost my mom in the park. I did not know where she went and I got so worried so I went home and waited in the driveway. Eventually she came up the path and I stood in the driveway and barked and barked until she got there then I jumped all over her. She came home! She wasn’t lost!
My mom just sent an email to the moms and dads of Kenny, Blue, Ollie, Cooper, and Flynn and told them if they see me all alone on the driveway to tie me up in the back yard and text you with a message that I am found and am at home waiting for you.
I’ll guard your house. I’m very good at barking really loudly. I do have to be told to stop. I’ve turned onto a much more protective poodle since she came home from the hospital and couldn’t walk. I need to protect her. I’ll protect you, too. But if you tell me it’s all OK I’ll stop barking when the people come in and I’ll find a nice shoe or toy to give them.
Will I miss my mom? Will she come home? I don’t know but maybe if you send her pictures of me to remind her what a good dog I am she’ll want to come home. She told me it was a holiday for me, whatever that is, and I know I’m going to have lots and lots of fun with lots of girls and I think she usually tells me the truth. When I can’t go with her and have to stay home, she tells me that she will be back and to “Guard the house!” I like having a job. You can tell me to guard the house, too.
I will be a good dog but I’ll probably chew lots of slippers.
(Isn’t that sign at the top the best welcoming sign ever for a dog? I feel so special! Maybe I’ll get to keep it as a reminder.)